Denise has been a student of grief and has experienced her own grief and I believe God has gifted her with incredible insights and help for those who are grieving, which when we are honest is most of us most of the time.  

Will we ever be happy again after a big loss?

How do we get through grief?

What if my grief is smaller than others?

Why do we grieve?

If you need to reach her after this you can email her at: [email protected]

She facilitates a Grief Support group Locally in Canandaigua, NY

Crosswinds Wesleyan Church

3360 Middle Cheshire Road

Canandaigua, NY 14424

Next session starts October 13th 6-8pm

Session will run many weeks

We can see it but sometimes can’t define it.  I remember driving our car down the road and Sarah and I both saw a girl walking down the road.  We were coming up behind her.  As we passed her we realized it was one of our clients.  From the back she could have been 25 years old.  Her face brought her to 50’s and we both new she was in her 60’s.  We both commented the same thing.  She was in awesome “shape”.  Of course we told her so the next time we saw her! 

We have dozens and dozens of clients like this.  If you are just looking at the body you get a certain impression of age.  What makes us have this impression?  What makes a body look younger or healthier? 

I think it’s three things.  Muscle, posture, and a narrower waist. 

This does mean weight loss is a factor here.  But we have all seen the tiny old lady who looks old and frail and you can...

Problem #1: A Standard Gym Membership is paying for access to equipment.  Most people don’t know how to workout so they end up on the treadmill or elliptical. 

Solution: There is no activity in our studio that isn’t lead by a certified trainer designed to create results. 

Problem #2: Standard workout classes are filled with lots of people who drop in and you don’t get to be as comfortable because there are always people you don’t know. 

Solution: We only allow people to join at the beginning of the month and at a particular class time so the group is consistent.  You get to know them and the comfort level and support you feel after the first week is amazingly valuable. 

Problem #3:  Most gyms are shared spaces so members stop and stare at classes exercising or you share space with many other groups. 

Solution:  We acquired a large space that is completely...

I started my Tall Trainer journey in January of 2020. Prior to starting, I had been mildly active but my nutrition was not great. My weight had been increasing over the years. The only time I had lost weight in the past was if I had kept track of what I ate. Then it would creep back up again. In 2019, I became a grandma- which is THE BEST! I really needed to figure out how to be fit and flexible. I wanted the strength to be able to carry and play with my grandson as he grew. This became my “WHY?” 

I had heard about Tall Trainer years ago and bought their Fitness in Real Life book- and actually read the whole thing and marked it all up. I looked up the website and decided to call and see if maybe I could join a class.

I was amazed and so thankful for the positive information that I received in that phone call. Stacie (the lady who took my call) was so upbeat and said that they were all REAL PEOPLE…who ate pizza! That...

See them there wrinkles coming, See the imperfections in my skin tone...are my eyebrows too bushy..can you even tell I have them??... I zoomed in on noticing these things after I got target marketed for wrinkle cream and botox when I turned 40...

Some of you know my back story- but at age 14 I went into a full-blown eating disorder – started with anorexia and then progressed into basically EVERY form of disordered eating.  My weight was at a low of 89 pounds and a high of 189 pounds.  At all of those weights I thought I was fat.  Yes, at even 89 pounds I thought I needed to lose more.  So, needless to say, the lens I have on myself is whack.  I have learned what I see in the mirror can’t be trusted and I try to not spend too much time analyzing it or I go into a tailspin of NOT GOOD.

You don’t have to have my story to struggle with body image.  Media has done a number on us putting an unrealistic and a not even possible...

Feelings- Emotions -what the heck is going on with me??

Quick Definitions:

*Your brains best guesses guided by your past experience.

*The conscious experience of emotional reactions.

*An emotional state or reaction.

*Belief, especially  vague or irrational.

The power of feelings has definitely taken an up trend in the last few decades.  They surely needed too.  Feelings are not meant to be stuffed or ignored – because THEY WILL surface in some way and it is often destructive.

I also want to take note to not give them too much power.  Feelings DO NOT equal truth.  They are indicators of something you need to explore.  Feelings are guesses at best.  Sometimes our guesses are right on, but sometimes they are horribly wrong. 

When I let my feelings take too much control in my life – I start to drift into a dark place. 

If I stopped and imagined what my day...

"In June 2019 I decided to start, my son was getting married so that was my motivation join Tall Trainer.

At that point I was nonexistent as a person - I was at the heaviest I’ve ever been in my entire life. I had given up because I was so heavy.  I felt like I was never going to be able to do it. 

I was almost embarrassed to come in. In my head I thought everyone was in good shape there. I didn’t want  to be measured and have to be accountable.

But, I just got to a point where I was like “I have to do this! I have to put all of that aside”.  The scariest day was the first day I started Tall Trainer.  I hadn’t stepped on a scale in I don’t know how long.  There was a lot of truths that day.  I had to face what I actually weighed and that was a big “smack”.

It was like “wow, I let myself go there". 

That was the LAST day I thought...

It happens.  Even to me.  A little pitty party.  Perhaps a seed of entitlement?

I eat well as far as healthy most of the time.  I enjoy something yummy, we occasionally go out to eat, Some of my favorite foods are chicken wings, Beef Briscut, Apple Crisp, Berries, and Pumpkin pie.  I don't drink soda except super rare treats, I eat at least 2 pounds of vegetable most days, I eat the same breakfast, snacks, and lunch 5 days a week.  (sometimes weekends too).  

Here's the thing I don't "LOVE" all that food.  I eat my eggs and veggies as cold bricks in the morning.  I eat a dry boring head of romaine lettuce on my way to pick up Anna from school.  I drink 1 or 2 protein and water shakes a day depending on if I'm too busy to chew something.  I nuts and fruit make up the rest of my day until I get home.  Sarah does up dinner most of the time.  And we eat some sort of chicken 80% of the time with a huge vegetable serving....

When does self-care goes too far…or not enough?  Some people become a shell of a person in service of others (mom’s are a large category).  Some people fall in love with self-care so much that their personal happiness becomes the chief aim.  “I’m just not happy anymore” is a common reason for divorce. 

I believe you can do self-care and others-care at the same time.  There will be ebbs and flows but I’ve seen many people do this beautifully. 

Here’s a couple things I want you to know:

• Happiness research is pretty clear on this…the way to find happiness is not to seek it for yourself. When you serve others, do useful work, and enjoy moments with others…these are some of the peak happy moments. 
• If you don’t take care of yourself I’ll bet there are a dozen people worrying about you. When I was a young dependent I did worry about my Mom and Dad. 
• ...