This is what I carry with me when I run now

This is what I carry with me when I run now.  I hate that this isn’t being dramatic-or over the top.  It’s just smart.  I have had a couple scary experiences in my life running and the danger is REAL!

So why do I do it anyway.  The love is greater than the fear.  Moments of just me outside feeling my muscles work and my breathing tested.  Doing something that challenges me and doesn’t come easy always makes me a better person.  Running is one of those things. 

I hate that I can’t just run free and enjoy being outside pounding the pavement on this beautiful earth.  Every vehicle that passes by I study in case it comes by again or if I have to report it.  I hate that my first thought when a car slows down is “are they going to try something” instead of being kind and respectful of me on the road.  I hate that I can’t run the same route at the same time or any pattern and feel like I am not a target.  I hate that I can’t just run where the road takes me-but I have to give detail to Jeremy of where I will be and the approximate time I will be back.  I hate that I can’t get lost in listening to a song, book or the birds chirping because I need to be on guard of my surroundings.

WHAT I HATE MOST is that there are people so wounded- so broken -that they feel justified to harm other people.  This used to just make me angry.  But now it breaks my heart more than anything.  These people were once little round faced, diaper butt babies who would make you putty if they smiled at you.  What happened in their life??? I can only imagine. 

I also wonder- what if??  What if growing up strangers looked at them and smiled instead of looking past.  What if some random lady in the grocery store went up to them and said “You Matter-little one- I can see it in your eyes” instead of hurrying to the next task.  What if one teacher focused on what they are good at and not the rough edges.  What if...What if...What if.....Would their story be different?? I believe some would. 

I am no Pollyanna walking around with a sunny disposition.  I am an introverted, anxiety fighting, quick to get annoyed crank pot.  But I do with all my heart believe one small act of kindness can have a HUGE impact-a ripple effect that does change someone’s world.

This world is hard and dark at times.  Be smart.  Be safe.  KEEP LIVING and doing the things that make you come alive.  BE THE GOOD.  Smile at those littles in the grocery store getting yelled at for asking for fruit loops. Look at people different than you IN THE EYES, smile and say “hello”.  BE THE LIGHT!!   BE WORLD CHANGERS, one act at a time.

** I don’t think smiling will fix all these problems SO please do your research on road safety, be strong, stand tall, don’t look scared, be educated, go with a friend if you can and take self-defense! Also, know that if someone came at me my response would NOT be “awe, your mommy must have not hugged you enough- it WOULD be- prepare to meet your maker mother trucker, I’m coming at you will ALL I have***

~Blessings