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Don't need, Don't want, Don't feel

mindset Mar 02, 2020
Don’t want...don’t need...don’t feel
 
Let that sit a minute....
 
Don’t want... don’t need...don’t feel

Do any of you have that running through your head? The "voice" telling us not to need, want, or feel. Do you try desperately to get that to absorb into your soul, your being? Do you believe that life would just go smooth if you could get those all in check!?

Maybe you don’t or maybe you don’t even realize it because you are so busy trying to not want, need or feel.

I SURE DO. Like I don't need my husband to acknowledge the work I did today while caring for a baby and a puppy. It's selfish to want 15 minutes for a shower. I shouldn't feel lonely I have great friends and family. 

These are constantly running through my mind so much that I don’t always call it out as BULL SH*T. Maybe I am alone in this- But I think a few can relate.

This is a message I taught myself at a young age, so young it feels like that was my purpose in life. To not rustle any feathers, to not inconvenience anyone, to not make anyone uncomfortable with the thoughts that run through my head. 

But here is the deal. I DO WANT...I DO NEED...I DO FEEL. I feel big feels and want big wants and I confuse what a need is. I have learned a need isn’t just the basics of food, water and shelter. But needs are love, affection, connection and community. I need a Savior (who I call God) that provides peace, comfort and freedom that words can not explain. 

I spent my teen years of life trying to disappear by nearly starving myself to death, and then I spent years stuffing my face with food to try to shove all those needs, wants and feelings down, to keep all of me hidden. 

Friends, we ARE allowed to need, want and feel. We were actually created to do all of those. It doesn’t make you wrong or too much. You don’t have to run and hide from them. You may need to manage them or keep them in check. But you DON’T need to stuff them or ignore them. They are allowed. When you allow them, you will find you don’t need to try to numb or distract yourself from them with some sort of destructive behavior. 

I don’t have a 5-step process to cure this. I am still a work in progress. But I do know that I enjoy life with much more freedom when I acknowledged that I do have wants, needs and feelings. That I don’t have to numb myself. That I found my tribe of people that can handle me, the real me and that I don’t have to be perfect. 

So, what do you want, what do you need, what do you feel?

Go ahead- get to know yourself- I bet you are a real treasure!

Blessings,
Sarah

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