Anxiety Free Living ....

I am one to jump to anxiety and fear before faith and perseverance.   YEP. True story. 

I think we have been given this idea that we can get anxiety to go away.  That we can go forward in life without feeling anxiety again if we just master our minds enough.  Personally, I think this is HOGWASH.  Aren’t I a ray of sunshine J

Life is hard.  For every single person on this earth.  In no way are we promised to have an easy life.  Even if we pray hard enough, do the most good possible and save the turtles LIFE WILL BE HARD at times. We are NOT a weak human if that hard causes anxiety. 

What we CAN do with anxiety is realize it will come and go and we can learn to REST in the ANXIETY (that sounds silly doesn’t it). But knowing I can rest in anxiety gives me such peace and ability to keep moving forward.  It takes away the paralyzed inaction because I think I am weak. 

When we stay stuck in anxious feelings we are stunting our growth and limiting our human experience.   We are shooting ourselves in the foot to be present and showing up in our life.  If I am privileged enough to live until a ripe old age I want to look back at my life and see I showed up!  That is what will make me feel like I won!  I showed up to my one precious life.  NOT -I spent my whole life worrying about all the crap that could happen to me. 

Here is an example; 14 years ago I got divorced.  It was yucky and messy and I felt like I was gutted alive (gross but true).  During that time I got a pup.  Stella Marie Oppsadoddle Burdick.  Any of you out there get the divorce dog?  You know!  This dog was what got me out of bed.  I cried SO many tears into her fur.  So many that I started to smile again. Stella knew my mood before I did and was always ready to be a comfort.  SHE WAS AMAZING!  #sobbingrightnow.  She passed away.  IT SUCKED!  This is life.  Not yet have we figured out how to keep a dog alive forever.  We got another pup shortly after for Anna’s sake.  She was lost and we needed some extra life in the house.  I wasn’t ready but I knew it was right.  In enters Opal Sally Ginger Biernat.   My anxiety steps up and reminds me that – no breathing thing lives forever.  In another 11-14ish years Opal will go on to the other side.   My anxiety tells me this often because the loss of Stella still feels recent.  But If I lived in this anxiety I would never connect with this amazing pup.  My anxiety would keep me a safe distance away so it won’t hurt as bad.  I wouldn’t really experience that companionship and joy she brings while she is here on earth.  My experience with her would be shallow and with little connection.  But if I know that truth- and put it into perspective of how I want to show up in my life-I can choose to be present and enjoy her in the now.  I can also rest in the fact that pain in her passing will show the love I felt and I can continue my life in a meaningful way after she is gone.

So here are a few ways I am learning to rest in my anxiety:

*Pray DAILY and often -nothing fancy and rehearsed- but often I pray for eyes to see and strength to do the good.

*Journal my head -this is a total brain dump of thoughts that looks like a jumbled mess on paper.  But then I can make sense of it and see it usually is not as big as it is in my head.

*know that anxiety is OK and it will come and go and it doesn’t need to cripple me.

*Understand that anxiety is showing me that I am living to much in the future and not being present.  It is a tap on the shoulder of “Hey girlfriend, how about live today- tomorrow will come later, you’ve got today and P.S. you can handle tomorrow”

*A certain couple days of the month my anxiety can get out of control.  I think the world hates me and I contribute nothing but awful to those around me.   Knowing that this is from a hormonal shift in my body gives me great peace.  In those days I can parent myself and say “Sarah, in a day you will see the good again, this is from hormones, hold on”.

*Speak truth to myself – Things that particularly help me are:  You are a hardworking, capable person who knows how to ask for help.  You have come through hard and have always learned from it.

*Remind myself I AM NOT ALONE.  I can ask for help!  Counselor, pastor, friend, family...I CAN ASK FOR HELP!

*EXERCISE – one of the biggest anxiety relievers for me is consistent movement. - and it isn’t torture but a gift to myself to helps with peace in my body, mind and spirit.

*Staying fueled.  I think they created the word “hangry” for me.  It isn’t pretty.  Sometimes when the world is crumbling down I just need to freaking eat and the monster in my head becomes manageable. 

*Give myself time to just be.  Play, create, read or stair at a tree.  When we are burnt out and exhausted the world is not a fun place.  We feel like units of production and not human beings.  I am constantly checking commitments and schedules to make sure we have little moments to just be.  If we don’t check in on it we WILL get overbooked. 

These are just ramblings in my head and from my life - hope they help a few of you.

Blessings,

Sarah